Speechless: Part 2 (by Corey Thompson)
By Corey Thompson, filed in Corey Thompson, General on Jun.08, 2009
“Speechless” (Part 2)
By: Corey Thompson, “The Thirsty Quill”
(Continued)
You see, had I published the original article on time, you would be reading another one of my famous rants. The transcript would be very different from what you’re looking at right now.
The old article was before my wife’s wreck that left our car totaled. It was before a computer glitch failed to save about 90% of the original work, forcing me to sleep on my thoughts for another night, and to literally start all over from scratch when I was already behind schedule.
It was also before I began to realize the significance of many of the amazing opportunities in which I have been able to listen to someone else in recent days…
A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with Bill, a good friend and mentor during my previous career in banking. I chatted with my brother-in-law Charlie, a creative genius, fellow writer, and the closest thing to a constructive critic that I’ve ever had standing in my corner. I spent an hour on the phone with Ty, also a former colleague, who is currently setting a fine example of being a phenomenal Daddy and husband in the midst of one of life’s toughest challenges. The list of names could go on for pages…
There have been conversations over beers that I didn’t pay for, and conversations over worn-out decks of cards. I’ve had the opportunity to listen to folks who are experiencing many of the same fears and frustrations that I have held inside. There were conversations about jobs that had been lost, and about bills that couldn’t be paid.
There were baseball games with old friends. There were checks that were picked up on my behalf, and when the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed the check and did my part in maintaining the practice of “paying it forward” on my own dime. It was the right thing to do since others had done the same for me.
In so many of these conversations, I listened to countless stories of professional anxiety and personal worries that had no immediate remedy in sight. And through it all, I heard others try to make some sense of it, and attempt to grasp the words that I couldn’t find either…the ones that had left me speechless. I discovered that I wasn’t alone.
In each instance, I found my own fears being drowned out once I began to listen to others. Amidst the growing chorus of those who were feeling the same things and experiencing the same things that I was, I took comfort in the realization that we’re all fighting to stay afloat right now, and that the best possible way to do just that is to cling to those who are treading water right there beside you.
Then there were walks with Jenny, and the opportunity to recite “A, B, C’s” with my son Charlie. There were cookouts with some familiar faces, and some faces I had never met. There were invitations to dinner. There was reminiscing with old friends…many of whom were former students of mine…which brings me back to that “strange sense of loss”…
This time each year, I find myself searching for that “perfect” speech to give to my students just before they leave our classroom for the final time. Typically, I try to give some motivational charge that I would like to believe resonates with them for the rest of their lives…but I’m quite certain that isn’t the case. Regardless, it hits me that those words will be my last opportunity to “teach” them, and in many cases, the final words that they will ever hear me say.
Last week, they sat there, staring back at me just moments before the bell was to ring that would forever set them free from my ‘boring’ lectures and ‘pointless’ assignments. Instead of leaning on old slogans and worn-out clichés, I tried to envision myself in their shoes. And while their voices may not have said a word, their faces and their eyes spoke volumes.
They were hopeful for the future and the limitless potential that awaited them. They carried the same dreams that I had seen in the faces of the classes I had taught years before. They were inspired to go out and change the world.
Yet, I could also sense that they too, just like their parents and their teacher, held apprehensions about college tuition bills that were already piling up, cancelled vacations, and summer jobs that were evaporating in the first rays of the formerly hibernated sun.
I may teach the past, yet to them belong the future…something that is a little more precarious these days than in recent years.
So while I struggle with my own fears and worries about what may or may not lie ahead along the journey of life, I take solace in the fact that none of us are traveling alone. As I have found, listening to the rhythmic footsteps and the reassuring voices of those around you is a lot more comforting than anything we could ever say by ourselves…and if you listen, truly listen, you may discover, as I did, that there is so much to learn from those who travel with us when we close our mouths and open our ears for a change. And that is a lesson none of us should soon forget…




June 8th, 2009 on 12:22 pm
Thanks for sharing all that Corey. Since I know just how much you love my poetry and since you have shared so much with us; please indulge me and allow me share this poem I wrote years ago when I was experiencing similar questions and eventually similar answers.
It is called Honesty and it is best read aloud. (Thanks again)
Honesty has one pesky flaw
the jagged rough edges defining its wall
in one hand you hold your plans
your dates your mates your traveling band
that play the tunes that touch your soul
that keep you young and feed the old
but oh the trips that cramp your grip
and loosen the feel of your fingertip
as out come the others
with the words of your brothers
that smother and cover the pride of our mothers.
They catch you quick
return all the chicks
with their kicks and their tricks
just to be in the mix.
and off you’re a goin
with this false motive showin
and the globe of your self is the only world you’re knowin
and sooner or later when the beat hits you wrong
and you fall through the floor just to see if you are strong
or decent enough to return to your feet
and carry yourself back to your old street
but before that occurs you’ve returned to the tour
in search of the cure of a life that’s not yours.
So with shoulders flexed
you’re off to the next
game that they have
but maybe has them
but no ones a savior
they just let themselves in
But it’s just like a show that you see on a stage
seduces you in just to fill you with rage
and with all this time
that you loose in the slime
cause it just seemed to fit
or the words seemed to rhyme
those that let you be you
got tired of waitin
and off on their roads
and their halls thier’a pacing
running frantic and fast
wondering what did I do?
waste a good heart and mind
in the shadows of you.
and just as their ready to be taken from town
is when you ring in from evolved falling ground
but with a new point of view
that at vaguest is true
and you got no excuse to do the things that you do.
but you tell her you’re sorry for making her blue.
So she takes you back and you keep rolling on
and you share all the feelings that you had when alone
But somewhere in the middle not so east but far from west
Is where it all appears the mountain at its crest
So you offer all you got and you show her promised valleys
you tell her inevitable facts and plotted comfort alleys
In route to the spot
that lies the sacred plot
that at this point has been with you
since you were but a tot.
But she laughs in your face
and fills you with disgrace
and you can’t say she’s wrong
for not digging up some grace
So you know you’ve got to go
and you wish her all the best
then you catch up with your friends
they make the damnedest pest
and the cycle remains in a life scared with ease
as you blow through your days
like warm winter breeze
but where will it stop or even settle down
so many rides in so many towns
but all the same scenes just on different days
as up come the walls of this figurative maze
With all roads leading out but drawing people in
and you can’t keep track of all the pigs in your pin
So you go on and leave packed light as expected
but the others care less as they’re chronically dejected.
and onward you go with no one to follow
if it’s good
if it’s bad
it is you who will swallow
the truths that you find at the end of your road
that you’ve searched for so long that you think you’ll explode
Then a thought crosses your mind as you try not to look back
that the answers you’re hunting might be found on the track
and the people you used though spent and confused
paid their dues
just to lose
as they clung to your shoes
were the ones you should affect
Not detect and inspect and avoid like a wreck
Run the risk of giving up all that you were holdin
because you thought you were the best
and that your shoes were golden
But who wants to climb to be left upon a peak
all you had you held inside and never thought to speak
cause when you did you feared the worse you just might be rejected
but when it’s dark and your all alone your thoughts must be inspected
Because everyone has that same inner voice
though coincidence seeps in you and can rob you of choice
to lead you down a specific path
and maybe you’ll pick up a skill or a craft
but until you do while you’re rolling along
seek out the lost and see what is wrong
cause maybe you’ll provide direction
for their trip
and catch the answers bold and full
as they erupt from between your lips.
Andy McGee
June 9th, 2009 on 5:38 am
Thank you for two inspiring posts, Corey! I know what you mean, I have to read/say this prayer every morning as a reminder that I have it pretty good, and my moaning is pretty pointless:
Litany of Humility
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
June 14th, 2009 on 9:09 am
Your posts are always amazing, and I look forward to them. These two posts are so incredibly special, though. It takes courage to put things like this out there - and by doing it, you touch so many people. When things really stink and there is no immediate solution, people can take a great deal of comfort in knowing they are not alone.
Thank you for posting this - and thank you for all of the time and effort you put into teaching people those things that are so crucially important, and making sure that they know they are not alone, and not helpless. It’s an honor to call you friend!